Thursday, July 23, 2009

Solar Eclipse

We just passed the longest ever Solar Eclipse of the 21st century. More than 6 minutes, the sun was hidden or partially hidden, depending on where you are. Some say the eclipse causes animals and perhaps some humans to behave strangely. Perhaps it just a bunch of quack or we just don't have enough eclipse to actually do a proper research. For me, perhaps fate, luck, chance, god's will, free will, star's alignment, the universe, or just plain coincidence, that made me feel this week is a stranger week than the rest. The lab and I are not on good terms this week. There were many good things that happened this week, I met a kind and wonderful final year master students who is kind enough and not to mention insanely patient with me to help with my research, I finally let go the anger I had with my friend, and strangely enough, I was on good terms with my family, of course there is the asshole brother and the over worried and overly suspicious mother, but both went on smoothly. There is even my sister who suddenly got brainwashed by some DCHL/DHCL or what ever bull shit MLM (multi level marketing) company who told my sister to get RM2k before 5pm to show how serious she was.. What the hacks? But somehow, I dread going to the lab, totally dread looking up my past notes on my research and totally hating the traffic. Seriously, I don't even want to be in the lab, unless my supervisor requested me to be there or to help him. It's not that far anyways from home and the faculty, beside that incredibly inefficient new parking system (dumb a@S parking lot) is not something I want to deal with everyday, not to mention my vendetta with the security people at UPM. Its such a strange week for me, very strange....

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Short Fuse

I won't say its a bad week, but it feels like a bad week. My fuse is much2 shorter this week, but then there is more aggravation this week than the other weeks. It made me feel on the fence about this week condition, I know I should not think too much about the past, nor worry about the future, but think about now. All the books, movies, and even 3D cartoon states this. Sigh. My mother told me to control that temper if I want a healthy life. Now I can still choose to keep quite or stay away from the aggravation if I choose too, but in the future I probably can't. I still have to go to work, deal with colleagues, deal with supervisors, still have to drive and deal with the drivers on the road. Probably the only thing that I can look forward is having a place of my own, or if my financial does not allow it at least a master bed room with my own bathroom. That would be my own little studio apartment. I'll pay extra for the electricity or water if they want me too. Just my own little nest without anyone nosing around. Living with parents are nice, but only if your parent's are understanding and trust you as a grown adult. I don't think mine does, and I don't think many parents do anyways. Its get kinda funny and sometimes down right annoying really, when my mother wants to trick me into telling her something she thinks is happening in my life. Right.... like staring me into my eyes is going to pop out anything, I will stare right back into her eyes. We're are bunch of starers trying to crack each other. I like my life now and how it goes, if people won't agree to what I think, should I even care what they think? Well as I am spending quality time at home, instead of going to the lab, might as well just do what ever I do in the lab, that does not involve any experiments. If my supervisor really needs me, he would call my cellphone, unlike the brand new PhD student, whom seem to perfected the art of loosing touch so well, heck he even wants to easier classes for the PhD credits. Whatever really, I can do any damn thing I want and so can he.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Song About Me

I got this song stuck in my head and in my mp3 playlist. I did not like it at first and thought it was kinda stupid, love like a battlefield, but it ended up as being my favourite current song of the moment, because it describe the feelings I have in my relationship. It seems the more that I care about the person, the more intense the anger is. Not very good nor it is healthy. I do hope to change that, if I want any type of relationship to last long.

Dont try to explain your mind
I know whats happening here
One minute, its love
And, suddenly, its like a battlefield

One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My worlds nothing when youre gone
Im out here without a shield - cant go back, now

Both hands tied behind my back for nothing, oh, no
These times when we climb so fast to fall, again
Why we gotta fall for it, now

I never meant to start a war
You know, I never wanna hurt you
Dont even know what were fighting for
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like

Cant swallow our pride
Neither of us wanna raise that flag, mmm
If we cant surrender
Then, were both gonna what we have, oh, no

Both hands tied behind my back for nothing (nothing), oh, no
These times when we climb so fast to fall, again
I dont wanna fall for it, now

I never meant to start a war
You know, I never wanna hurt you
Dont even know what were fighting for
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Better go and get your armor (get your armor), get your armor (get your armor)
I guess you better go and get your armor (get your armor), get your armor (get your armor)
I guess you better go and get your

We could pretend that we are friends, tonight (oh)
And, in the morning, we wake up, and wed be alright
Cause, baby, we dont have to fight
And I dont want this love to feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
I guess you better go and get your armor

I never meant to start a war
You know, I never wanna hurt you
Dont even know what were fighting for
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
I guess you better go and get your armor (get your armor), get your armor (get your armor)
I guess you better go and get your armor (get your armor), get your armor (get your armor)
Why does love always feel like (oh, oh)
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield

I never meant to start a war
Dont even know what were fighting for
I never meant to start a war
Dont even know what were fighting for

Friday, July 17, 2009


I had a great time oh Thursday night, watching the new Harry Potter movie with 11 friends. That is a pretty huge group for a movie. It's also the first time I combined my two cliques together in one outing. A movie is not exactly a good way to mingle, but at least they seen each other faces in real life. Sadly though, that great night of movie lead to probably one the worst day of my life. I had to send back my friend to the UPM hostel, but was blocked using our primary way, so I had to go to the 1st entrance, and had to show my matric card to enter and having to lie, we were doing research in the lab. After sending him to his hostel, I took a wrong turn to the wrong exit. UPM has many entrances to each of its faculty, hostel and campuses. So I reversed and rushed to the primary exit, where I was pulled over, and requested to check my boot and my back seat, not to mention my matric card, which the Security guard repeatedly look over and over again. They claimed since I was speeding and took a wrong turn, I was suspicious. Heck they did not even know GS in the matric card stands for graduate student. When I finally exited, the guard say don't enter too late inside. I once had to leave at 3am because of a lousy experiment, I don't think they have any authority to say anything to research, unless they want to come along and help me, or donate money so I can get new materials instead of borrowing it. Anyways I think I am older than most of them, since most guards are quite young really. I don't like Security Guards, especially the ones in Universities and perhaps some offices. Most of them are barely educated, can't really speak, and basically can't get any job other than a guard. So they can't think for themselves, nor they have the courtesy or people skills. I got a guard at KLCC where my sister works, who barks at employees whose name tagged is not on properly. They barked, not asking politely, but bark like a dog. I feel sad for them, that the only action they could get is scolding employees. The same thing for guards in Universities and Colleges, they only know how to act tough and give tickets to students. Give them one bad situation, they probably going to run around like chicken with their head cut off. What do these guard have for fighting anyway? A stick? I got bamboo stick in my car, or a steering lock or an umbrella that I could whip their ass. They act tough around employees and students because its the only time they could actually have any authority. In UPM, you can't get a sticker for anyone else even though you have all the right legal documents, because they are afraid of people counterfeiting the stickers. Dumbass, you think I can't remake the car sticker and the sticker shop, I seriously doubt you even checked the sticker number when I drive through. They make that stupid rule and yet they don't open on weekends. So basically those who work part time, must take a day off to get the lousy stickers. I hate guards, I wish to only to deal with machines, which is why its great to have those access cards and the poles to prevent you coming in and out. They do the same job these dumbass guards do, but cheaper, more efficient and with out the so called superiority complex that the human guards have. The only guards I should be afraid is the ones with guns, at least you know they have something to point if any real bad happens.
Well that is all for my point of guards (Hate the useless bastards and if you or your family or your friends is a guard, f@#K them too okay, because I don't give a d@#n) Anyways after that whole stupid incidence, I was stood up by a so called friend, because he fell asleep. Gee, thanks for making me plan around your sleeping time. Then my good for nothing brother, who existed is not needed at all in this universe, was smart enough to go out with the house keys and gate remote.....which was attached to the car keys of the car that I want to send to the mechanic to have it checked out. Really, I have no idea, his function in the house, nothing really, just a parasite that bleeds out resources really. I wish my albendazole works on him so he could be rid with just one dose (albendazole is Zentel, a worm drug). Really, I have no idea why I have to deal with these people, perhaps by force really. One thing that bugs me, is the new PhD student under my prof, the damn bastard somehow talked my prof about dropping Medical Protozology. You are doing Malaria, but you won't take protozology classes.. gee.. are you that smart already. You know, F@$k You, I hope to be finishing soon, and I hope you talked to prof about a nitrogen thank for your P. berghei, because I am so not taking care of it anymore .

Thursday, July 16, 2009


I am stuck driving the MPV and the family car. I do love the spaciousness of the MPV and the attention grabbing of the left hand drive 18 year old car, but I want my nimble supermini/hatchback/sub compact car back.. I love the dimute size but incredible interior space (although I hate the cupholder that robs ankle space of my left leg when I drive), I like the small engine 3 cylinder that vibrates like crazy but eager to rev. I love the easiness to park anywhere and make a U turn anywhere. I want to, but I can't since my younger sister is using my older sister's car, while my eldest sister is using my supermini. This sucks...


I forgotten to watch TV for quite a long time. I was to preoccupied with gym (or lack of gym) my laptop, my ps2 or was going out with friends. I forgotten to enjoy watching dramas, documentary, music videos, and Oprah. I never knew there were so many new TV shows on air, I cheated by reading the synopsis on my favourite TV shows on wiki, so I ended up now watching TV at all. It was a nice treat to kick back and watch TV again. I forgotten how I really enjoyed it.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Hot and Cold

Do you know those night when you feel hot but at the same time you worry about being cold in the morning or being to hot or worry about mosquitoes giving you malaria, dengue, or chingukuniya. That just bites doesn't it. What about, the need to open a book to read or medical journal. It sucks man. Really sucks. I should take pictures too, been lazy on not snapping stuff now. My phone camera has scratches and dirt in the lens, which requires me to change its casing. Sigh... gosh.. too many entries about complaining eh.. :D, but this is a reflection right? How you worry about the silliest things or get paranoid like crazy. I wanted to fill in on facts but that is like studying and might as well study something related to my research. I been flipping back on the basis of Toxoplasma gondii and making sure I still know the basis of my beloved parasites. Gotta keep up on reading, but I had a hard time waking up and staying up in the morning. I am beginning to hate the alarm clock now. I turned one of it off because the alarm is like a nagging mother who repeats till you want to scream. I actually ignored my alarm and end up pissing myself off. Silly budlee.....

Monday, July 13, 2009


I feel very paranoid, I feel people are watching every move I make in this lab. They are slowly judging me and talking about me. I feel they are comparing everything about me, and knit picking everything that I do. Who knows what is behind those smile and smirks. I just don't feel as safe or as secure as I used too. Each request seems like a threat sometimes. I don't like it, I don't like this feeling. First time in the longest time, I could not sleep. I closed my eyes, toss and turned, switch on the air conditioning (but kept it at 26 degrees Celsius), switch from Kain Pelikat to Short and still could not fall asleep. My mind was full with thoughts, of everything from relationships, to family, to motor oil, to TOPO, to thesis, and to me. Too much thoughts, too vivid, to early in the night. So I made myself a cup of Milo and played The Sims 2; Bon Voyage. To escape my reality, I jumped into virtual reality so that I could control what happens. Still even in the game, there are somethings that even I can't change. Hmm.. it's almost over...

Sunday, July 12, 2009


I forgot how hard I can scream and how strong my younger brother is. Just my luck, that my older sister and younger brother were at it again, but on a higher intesity today. Both of them could not shut up, nor would they contain themselves. They were literally going to kill each other. There was a sharp screwdriver at hand okay. Mother told me not to leave him with my younger sister, she forgot to mention about not leaving him with the eldest sister. Its embrassing for a 20 year old and 28 year old to be fighting like that. I could leave them and let them be, but neighbors will start to notice, and blood will seep through the wooden flow, not to mention they were fighting close to the TV, and I was just starting to watch TV again. They are bunch of idiots, maybe I should let one of them get seriously hurt, but do I really want to be part of Harian Metro front page, over a stupid ski mask, I just don't think its worth it.

Saturday, July 11, 2009


Hate it, when its almost the end of the flu. This is where one needs to expelled all leftover phlegm. The body will just not accept it, is the left over virus that has been killed off. I hate it when I cough. It feels like your whole lung is about to come out.

Friday, July 10, 2009


Funny, how everything could turn 360 degrees around in a few hours. I was feeling good and bubbly a few hours ago, but right after I woke up from sleep, or tried too, everything seem bleaked. Crap.. it was so much fun having that good karma feeling, I guess it was a bit too much perhaps.

No Gym,

I kinda like, not having to go to the gym now. My gym membership is expiring soon, and I am not financially able to pay for it (PTPTN has been sending me "love letters"). Its nice to be able to hang out with friends in the lab, after lab hours. Its to sit and talk to your family during dinner time. Its quite nice.... Maybe I should laid back, and drink plenty and I mean plenty of water instead..but we will see, what kind of activities I will do again..

Thursday, July 9, 2009


Why on earth do you need 5 cars?..

Actually we might need more...

Crazy right, to have 5 cars in a household. It's just plain crazy, and its not just a bunch of K-cars, its a variety of cars from the old but faithful 190e, the big and spacious Ria, the people's favourite Myvi, the executive choice Accord and the value for money Viva. Did I mention we have 2 motorcycle too..

My sisters pays for her Myvi, I paid for half of my Viva, I see no reason why my younger brother and sister should be driving. We did not have our own car's their age. Whose household has 5 car now anyway...

Perhaps they should go to the higher court (our dad) to find out how... I don't mind riding my bike again. Since parking is impossible now in UPM due to Medical brats bringing their own cars even though they are 1st semester students..

No more English in Math and Science

Hmm have you heard, there will be no more teaching in English for Math and Science. More than half of Malaysian rejoice since they don't have to cram their head trying to learn a second language or third for some. I guess this means better exam results in the future?? To be frank, who really learns English in school anyway, unless you go to an international school and the medium is in English. We ended up learning English when we further our studies or when we work. Too bad, I thought it would be a good head start in life, but alas, not every agrees with it. Its back under the rock now..

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Too Much Fun

Is there too much fun and pleasure? I would say so, the last weekend was one of my best weekends ever, it was so good, I ended up getting a flu on Monday. If I had to do it over again, I would have taken supplements, get a good night rest and use a blanket when I am sleeping.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

A Get Away

I had a short trip to Pahang last Sunday, via public transportation. Its been a while since I took the public transportation after I started to know my way around while driving. I took the Komuter from Serdang to KL Sentral

Then took a monorail from KL sentral to Titiwangsa, only after I arrived, I felt foolish, since the STAR LRT also goes to Tittwangsa -_-"

I took a bus to Raub, where my friend will pick me up. Its been years since I rode a bus, the last time I took the bus was during my diploma years for my trip to and from Arau, Perlis

Ahh.. the hills are alive with fresh air and chirping of birds

A pregnant monkey hanging and swinging on branches.

A nice flower

Another nice flower

This is an interesting flower

We took the motorcycle up the hill. I love this Yamaha LC, its has really good pickup.

Yeah, I was at Frasier Hills, I don't even remember if I ever been here before.

Theoretically, I was supposed to go back by bus, but we took a wrong turn, and went into Batang Kali.. Ouch.. Out from Pahang and into Selangor. No wonder the car registration plate was different :p.

Now the Komuter operates from Tanjung Malim to Rawang. The reason why is that they used a the diesel train instead of the electric train, so you need to change trains at Rawang. A ticket from Batang Kali to Serdang is only RM 5.80.

The trip was fun and worth it. I had great time just trying something new and adventurous, but I did get blisters from sitting on a motorcycle for a long time, something that I haven't done for a long time