Friday, April 30, 2010

A Lesson Worth Learning?

I was drilled by my supervisor on Electrotransblotting.. WTF..

I don't have any idea too..

What its was actually two different laboratory procedure. One of it is Polyacrylimide Gel (PAGE) Electrophoresis which is used to separate protein according to its size and weight, and Western Blotting, which is technique where you transfer the content of the PAGE Electrophoresis into a nitrocellulose paper or a similar paper (polyvinyl ???).

I had to sit through the whole thing when I finally figured out what was he was saying. This is as worse as going through with my genetic supervisor who has been waiting for weeks for me for my stop codon from my sequence.

I hate being stuck, I hate it, when I do remain stuck, other things in life seem more appealing, like the Internet or video games. I want an escape and escape from all this confusion. Seriously, to go direct to PhD after this? Oh my god. Why the heck did I worried about my so called relationship problem, I mean seriously. I plan to live and work till I am 100, 30 is the new 20, 40 is the new 30 and 50 is the new 40. Heck if our Prophet Muhammad SAW, life as a prophet starts at 40. I am freaking out since my life is stuck at 26 in a student life living in my parents house under their rules.

Seriously, there has to be something better than bitching about life right? I want Internet through my Blackberry service back :(. You know how great it is to be able to Blog at the instant you have the idea. Its like a long Twitter post but a short blog without having the deal with the mass information about your friends Farmville on Facebook.

I want the Digi Smartphone service. Even though the EDGE coverage is limited (3G is even more limited), I live in those limited area like 90% of the time. It should work out better than getting a Celcom or Maxis plan.

However this happens only after I finished the thesis, in order to do so, I need to finished my report, in order to do that I need to explain how to produce recombinant, how to test the recombinant, how to immunize using the recombinant and how to measure the effectiveness.

And you wanna tell me I should diet and calm down... Go jump off a cliff!!!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

My Life Sucks But Blogs Don't :)

Yeah, my life currently sucks, and I would nominate my self with the other people who feels that their life sucks too. We blog about our sucky lives and expect people to read it how sucks life feels. However during these sucky times, we bitch blog about our lives, we find that there are many blogs out their that cheer us up during our sucky time and makes everything all rights. These are new blogs that I am adding to my list that has not been updated since forever. Many of the blog links are not even active anymore. These are the blogs that I read now, they have something positive in life that I could read and that makes me positive. Or it just makes OMG WTF LOL ROTF LMAO

*it helps some of them do read my blog
**i finally know what kind of blog i produce (personal blog)

When Things Gone From Bad to Awfully Worse

I am tired, I wanted to write so many things that happened instead I just try to keep it simple. This is a scene if my father was not in the picture.

Sister: eh my car got into accident
me: how? where? who?
sister: a man driving a Kelisa hit me from behind, near BP velodrom
me: so how? is he paying or going to report to police?
sister: i asked to pay me, he said he wants to pay only 150
me: okay lah, gi report police then
sister: come lah, accompany me
me: sure okay, i want mcD
sister: ye lah

then drive to the police report, lodge a report, give insurance details, take picture of the car, write a report, then have mcD drive through. a few days later insurance come, tgk kereta, then claim.

however.. my father was in the car when she called me, and he overheard what happened, and he willingly without anyone forcing him, to go to the scene of the crime to "save" my sister, and hell breaks loose. The situation became so long, that I don't think I could put a dialogue in. Here is a summary of what happens

Father comes, inspects the car, demands money to repair, Kelisa guy (KG) said he has no money, wants to report, father argues and argue with KG, i kept quiet and avoid eye contact with KG, father gets furious, KG looked pissed, father yells at us to take KG details, KG is so pissed off that he just wants to talk at the police station, we tried to follow KG, but father told us to go home right away. Father kept yelling and screaming in the car and almost hit my mother. Sister was yelling and screaming in the car, but I was driving. Father kept yelling and screaming more since the TnG card was in my possession since I went and reload it since it was low on credit. Sister cooled down after I kept quite and calm, while offering her a cool can of Coke Light. I had to find out where the police station, where they will report the accident. I Google Map, I called and called again till I ran out of credit. KG did not report the accident yet, probably went home to send his child that was in the car during time of accident. Now at 12pm the next day, I have to meet my sister at KLCC to go to make a police report during lunch at Tun HS Lee road.
So yes, this gone from bad to awfully worse, thanks to participation of my father. Btw I haven't written down, things that happened BEFORE this accident. He freak out because his coffee came late and that he got mad that I won't go to the counter and DEMAND a cup of coffee now, instead I ordered and waited for my turn.

Monday, April 26, 2010


Gosh.. I did not have a good night sleep or did I? I felt like I did not get a good night’s sleep. I keep tossing and turning in my bed all night long. I was alert with all the sounds in the dark. The AC, the random illegal racers or horny cats accompanied me through the night. I had a dream, it was definitely a dream, and not a nightmare but I was disappointed, very disappointed. Imagine being stood up, in your dreams, and I actually waited all night long in the dream. How foolish am I, but I am a fool, a damned fool for believing in such frivolous things. The AC shuts down, the sun rises up and a new day starts. Could it be a better week?

Saturday, April 24, 2010

The Vitagen Lady and Orang Elken

You have to admit, working in sales is hard work. At least that what I see. Trying to convince a company or a customer why your product is great without pushing them or being rude to them. I salute this people.

Those who sell door to door is even worse. Imagine getting slammed in the face with a door or getting ignored like a cobblestone on a road. Just now a lady who we called "The Vitagen Lady", as the name suggest, sells Vitagen door to door on her trusty Toyota Corolla SEG. Every Saturday afternoon she would ring our door bell asking if we want to buy Vitagen. Actually the Vitagen she sells is quite reasonably priced lower than the hyper markets, but sometimes the hypermarket sells a better deal, so my mother stocks up on Vitagen from the hyper market, instead from the The Vitagen Lady.

We then have the "Orang Elken". Actually this is a family that drives around in their Mercedes E Class, selling Elken products. This ingenious in my point of view, instead of renting a store/stall/office space, they drive to their customers or downline homes to sell the products. This way they save money on rent, they are able to promote the latest products and they are able to get closer and personal to their customers and downline. Mr Orang Elken, even has a credit card reader that he plugs into our phone line, so that my dad can use his credit card to purchase our monthly Elken products.

My respects for these people for going the extra mile, literally, to find a living.

Friday, April 23, 2010

I am in the mood for something naughty

Is it naughty really? To be in the mood..

The mood of


I am in the mood for cake. Yes cake, what's better than cake? Baking a cake of course. It keeps me calm, it makes me happy, it lifts my mood to another level. There is one cake recipe I loved. I love it because it is easy, the ingredients is cheap and its healthy. How is this possible you ask? The reason is because this cake is vegan, which means it contains no eggs, no butter and no milk. No saturated fat or cholesterol in this cake. The ingredients are natural without those egg/butter substitute. So this is the recipe

Peppermint Chocolate Cake

1 1/2 cup of flour
3/4 sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract
1/3 vegetable oil
1 tablespoon white distilled vinegar
1 cup of cold water

Mixed the dry ingredients together first.
Then add in the wet ingredients.
Stir till everything is fully mixed
Baked in a greased pan in a 180 Celsius oven till the centre of the cake comes out clean with a toothpick (about 30 minutes)

*pictures? if you come back again, i might post one up again :D

Thursday, April 22, 2010


I am losing my steam. Somehow the fire is gone man.. where is it. Argh.... I hate it when it happends. Its something that we just don't want to do but it happens. Gosh, I am definetly not handling things maturely. Damnit I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. Life is bright, I just have to remember that. You too..

*lantak lah nak emo.. tapi aku pastikan emo ini adalah sependek mungkin.. korang mesti menyampah tgk kan emo blog.. dan aku mengeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemo kan diri

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


We used to live for 6 months in Canada when I was in Standard 1 or First Grade. My dad had training in Canada and his company allowed him to bring all of us along. We lived in two different hotel at our stay there. My younger brother was conceived in Malaysia but was born in Canada. In Canada was the first time I experienced snow and hail. You can see most of the windshield of the car was cracked as a result. There is just so many memories I have of Canada. This is one memory that I keep reminiscing from time to time
I remember riding in car and going to somewhere. I am not sure where, but I am sure it was somewhere my dad went each morning when I don't see him around. It was winter since I remember all of us being bundle up. My parent bought a stroller for my younger brother and we were wheeling him along with my older sister and my younger sister. We were lead into a building and then was shown to a room. It had a double door, I remember entering it and it was pitch dark. Suddenly, lights were on, there were people in the room. It was surprise party for my parents for my baby brother. It was kinda exciting for me and the rest of my siblings, we never had surprise birthday party. It was nice that each of us got our own little present.
I remember I got a toy car, it was those Hot Wheels cars. something I loved to have when I was little. I remember having this delicious vanilla cake with an even more delicious cake frosting. I think my sisters had some kind of stuff animals.
Anyhow, that is probably the closest thing I had to a surprise party, and that was the last one I had too. My birthday are usually celebrated with dinner with family now, none of the party stuff. It was special to me, even though it was not for me, but I get to participate it. Its definitely left a deep impression on me, I wish I could thank my dad's colleague who help to organize that event..20 years ago..

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts or Is it?

This is my favorite Krispy Kreme Doughnut. Its THE doughnut I would choose in a heartbeat. However to my surprise, this was not a doughnut. :-o ... Nope its a cake, and its real name is Glaze Vanilla Cake.. LOL.. should have read the description first before biting into eat. These doughnuts are so sinfully good, you swear the Devil has it for breakfast each day.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Deep Heating Rub

Hoho.. that Gatsby event lingered around longer that I anticipated. My back is killing me! My finger are still sore, my friends ankle were still swollen. I guess we were the few fools who were willing to climb the mountain and ride the bull. How irony the cream that I used to relieve muscle pain is from Mentholatum, the same company who made Gatsby. LOL.. I full time user now...

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Gatsby Street Fair at Times Square....Free Deodorant, Hair Gel, Hair Color, Shaving gel and Face Wash :D

Yup, the event that I blogged a while ago has already been done succesfully today.

What event? The Gatsby Fair event of course.

We were given a a goodie bag with shirts and fans. We needed the shirt and fans, it was hot and the free shirts, fans, and water at the water cooler was a savior.

There lots of game to choose from that you can get tickets that you can redeem for prizes. The games were free since this was an invited event. Fira is playing minature golf.

This the fishing deodorant game. Quite easy, won it everytime :D. Fira is fishing and showing the world the Gatsby website.

This was coconut bowling, loved the game, quite easy and silly.

The Gatsby wall, fit people can reach the top easily. Not fit people like me, can barely reach the second step. Not enough strength to climb it.

Fira gave her best shot too.

Bull riding anyone? Its looks harder that it is. I got bruises from riding this. When it bucked and roll, I was fine, but when it starts to spin around?I feel like I was in a centrifuge and got thrown off. Ouch!

Football anyone?

One of the FC for the events, I wonder how make for being here? Are they even Gatsby workers or are they Nuffnang workers? Or just temps..

Pop the baloon and ring on the deodorant spray was great!

This is Fira with another friend Ana, and Ana's sister. There was a lucky draw and Ana's younger sister got a RM 800 Canon Digital Cameral. So lucky!!

Although I did not get the lucky draw, I did return with RM 50 worth of toiletries. Not bad at all :)
It was definetly a fun day, although now the bruises are starting to reveal it self, nevertheless it was a fun event. Definetly makes me want to join some more Nuffnang activities :).

Prizes from Gastby Fair.

These are the Gatsby stuff that I redeemed at the Gatsby Fair. I got a lot of deodorant to last me for months. No reason for to smell badly now.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Long Line at Gatsby Fair Redemption booth.

Yup, after playing the various carnival games, you get coupons that you can use to redeem some Gatsby stuff.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Gastby mountain


Do you dare?

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Bull Riding at Gastby Fair

Bull riding. Yes its hard and yes I got bruises. Hoho great fun
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Coconut Bowling anyone at Gatsby Street Fair

Yey I got a strike with coconut bowling
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Gastby Street Fair

Hey we are at Gastby fair, where Gatsby has invited bloggerd to a street fair at Times Square. Updating soon if my BB alows it.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.


You know, we had these sachets of Nestiva laying in the kitchen cabinet at home. These sachets just stare at me while I was reaching for some teabags or coffee. I decided to try it, it was.. well.. taste like Nestum that has been water down with milk. When I was younger, I used to love the original Nestum. I would add hot water and put in 1 table spoon of sugar and make Nestum porridge. They use to show it on the can, that a porridge is a way to enjoy it, but now they don't do it anymore. They even made these 3 in 1 sachets complete with milk, sugar and Nestum to promote drinking the Nestum instead of eating it. Still, drinking it does bring back memories of my childhood.

Friday, April 16, 2010

I choose to accept.

I choose to accept,
I choose to accept what life has given to me,
I choose to accept the choices I make and the path that I walked through,
Would I look back?
Would I want to change the past?
I would if I could but end up loosing what I had now,
I choose to accept,
I choose to accept that I have accepted it now but during my down days I would choose not to accept,
I choose to understand peoplel
I choose to know that you cannot change people's preferences
I choose to understand that I can't chase them,
I choose to accept.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The things we do to our faces

Yes, things we do to get rid of acne. From lotions, to ointments, to toners to miracle creams, all promising to get rid of the horrible red, white, boils on your face. Too bad some of it don't work at all, some even aggravate acne even more, worst of all, even if it does clear up your acne problem, the acne will still come back. Its a on going battle on your skin!. It starts and usually end during puberty but some unlucky people it continue on till they are in their 50s. I still have it (reason why I still have products to treat acne). Acne is cause both by bacteria and androgen stimulation. A pharmacist told me, women usually gets it during their period which is the time their hormones changes according to the stages of their period,and men gets it because they produce more androgen than women. Bacteria plays an important role too since acne provides a passage way for the bacteria to penetrate our skin. Yeah, I think I am gonna keep a stock of the acne solutions for a very long time, since acne seem to appear the least when you want it. So wash that face, apply that acne ointment and get on with life. It will still come back anyway so might as well deal with it and don't let it stop your life. Just bitch slap anyone concerning about your skin, just say you infected them with your acne (you can't get infected with acne from someone suffering from it), it probably give them something to think about. Who wants to risk it right?

Monday, April 12, 2010


Ooooo a bug!!. A Volkswagen Bettle, cutely named as the Bug, or in Malay "Kereta Kodok". I saw one on our beloved gravel aka mud aka paddy field parking lot at my faculty. Not only its a Bug, its a Volkswagen, its in our parking lot and worse of all... its a student's car. had a student sticker on it. I haven never seen one on our parking lot before. Perhaps someone from another faculty perhaps?

*It sucks being lazy and unproductive, but somehow I can't shake it off. Its get worst as something big is near, but as that something big gets nearer, I suddenly switched gear and become as productive as a reproductive bunny.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Masked Palm Civet Cat

Seriously, what on earth is cute about this shit producing and parents yelling animal? This thing craps inside our roof on our ceilings and near our air conditioner. Gross!!. According to wiki, I believe this Asian Palm Civet cat or the Masked Palm Civet Cat. The Wild life officer said it was called Musang Pandan based on the scent.

Here are some facts about the Civet Cat.

  • Its not a cat actually, but rather cat like. Ours had a mask like a raccoon, so it could be raccoon like.
  • Did you there is this really expensive coffee that is produce from the dropping of Civet Cats. Yes, they pick up the coffee beans that the Civet Cats defeacate and then roast it and then they sell it ,and people brew it and drink it.
  • There some reports that SARS came from Civet Cats. GOOD GOD!! I am killing it if it sneezes..oh wait.. that can spread the virus.. I am staying away from it.
  • It's nocturnal, meaning it stays up at night and sleeps during the day.
  • It spits.. when I try to get near it to feed it.
  • My mom and dad, are scared of it. My mom never even seen one before. They are both from the Kampung...

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


I feel a bit mellow.. wait what does "mellow means?

According the Merriam Webster dictionary, mellow means warmed and relax.

Despite I get the feeling, I am being rejected again by one person, who I don't even know at all, I am accepted by another group of people. Ironic isn't? To go after something you want so bad and pushing other things you don't like along the way, but end up going back to where you started. There is no need to chase, is there? Some people do chase what they want and they get it. Some just wait around to be chase. Me? I won't like literally go after it, but I would show that I am indeed interested but at the same time, I have to make sure they are interested too. Hmm.. mellow.. I feel like I had a glass of wine, but I didn't.... Or maybe I am in denial, or perhaps I just need a little nudge to be real and normal.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Fresh Chicken

Yup, nothing like fresh chicken from the market. My mother stopped buying chicken from the hyper market and stick with the ones in wet market, since they slaughtered it on the same day. You can even see them process the chicken, so you know the quality that goes in it. Its funny that I take chicken for granted. I did not even know we ate skinless chicken all this while at home. Go figure eh. Even worse, sometimes I don't know how to reply their question when you go buy chicken..

Seller: Yes, dik, you want chicken?

Me: Yes, 3 of them please, no feet, no legs, no giblet, no liver, no head and no skin

Seller: How many parts do you want to cut them?

Me: huh?? parts? cut? how many?

Seller: Yes, how many

Me: *blank stare.

Seller: *stares..

Me: Err.. what do people usually ask?

Seller: 14

Me: okay..

I am not sure its either 12 or 14.. see I already forgotten about it. I probably just go to the hypermarket and just buy the pieces that have been cut. labelled and shrink wrapped.

Mazda 2, finally in Malaysia

If I were force to buy a Japanese car again or I cannot afford to get my dream car, I would go for Mazda in a heartbeat. I love the Mazda design over that of Toyota, Nissan or Honda. Get me a Mazda, any Mazda, and I will be happy. Mazda Malaysia has done it self quite well, we can get practically all the Mazda that the entire world has. Mazda 3, Mazda 5, Mazda 6, Mazda Cx7, Mazda Cx9, Mazda Miata Mx5. Mazda Rx8 and Mazda BT 50. Yes apparently Mazda like numbers and letters for its car. The bigger the number, the bigger car. The number 3 and 6 is their sedan, number 5 is the MPV, Cx 7 and 9 are the SUV, MX5 is the cabriolet, Rx8 is the sports coupe, and BT-50 is the pickup truck. Now they have introduced Mazda 2 which comes in both sedan and hatchback form. Yes, its a small car directly competing with other Japanese marques. The Mazda 2 sedan will go head to head with Toyota Vios, Honda City, Suzuki Sx4 sedan. and Nissan Latio sedan. Mazda 2 in hatchback form will directly go head to head with Nissan Latio Sport, a hatchback version of the Latio, Suzuki Swift, Honda Jazz and Toyota Yaris. Mazda goes a different way with its cars. They focus on the "zoom zoom" factor which is great driving experience and looking sporty at the same time.

Nice sporty interior. The gearshift is on the dashboard to make it more accessible to the driver

The cabin was said to be not as spacious as it rivals, this due to its lower roof line. Tall people riding in the back, beware...

The hatchbacks looks sexy

The sedan is functional with a 450 liter boot.

Side profile of the sedan in motion.

This is the Mazda 2 with its 16 inch rims and body kit. Nice!

Nite Out

FYI, the above are my sisters, the below are my friends, just so you won't be confused. Don't mind me on the left corner. I was just a bit off (even more than usual)

Despite it being a boring, moody, emo like weekend, it was not so bad after all. I was forced to go karaokeing with my sisters because my dad forbids it to go out after 11pm? Forced karaoke? Is there such thing? :))...

After dinner with some older friends, some hailed as far as Perak and New Zealand, I just have to hang out with someone closer to my age LOL. The topics are definitely different but both age groups are as engaging as the other. Besides these two know me well and I really needed a distraction because someone whom I thought I have gotten over with, suddenly came up. Ouch!, I was sure screwed up the whole night and into morning. Alas, not much I can do but just deal with it

Greenbox karaoke food rocks since they taste really good, there are variety and there are free flow drinks such as tea, coffee, water ,ice blend, soft drink, and juices. Well, I did try to drink 2 glasses of water and I did drink coffee with 1 teaspoon of sugar beside the sugary stuff they offer. Also, I had more veggies than other stuff they have on the menu. You know, I am definitely choosing better drinks and food now, or at least if I have something sinister to eat, I will drink a glass of plain water afterwards. Hey a dude can try to change his lifestyle a bit, although his gym going buddies says he is not trying enough. I don't care really, I am doing it my way now, and nobody is going to change but me.

*to you, I like to say "thanks" you definitely prove that I have to change for the better. I don't hate you at all, heck, I'll still be friendly with you if you decide to meet me again, heck I know we will meet again, we share mutual friends. Maybe we can get be something, but I guess now is not a good time yet. I might have my down days because of you, but just know that, I will get better, not just to get you, but whoever else in the future that is right for me...thank again you...

Monday, April 5, 2010

Fooled You Fooled Me

Yes, I am the biggest fool. I am easily suckered into things by sweet talk and empty promises. Things such as relationship and post grad. Gosh, I was so naive, to believe everything they told me. Its quite sad and frustrating but some how, I just have to get through this. I feel angry, I feel sad, I feel screwed up. I don't know why, but I just keep believing the same old lie, over and over again. What is wrong with me, too much hope? So much for being optimistic. I think I got the optimistic and pessimistic parts of life mixed, which makes me screwed up, which causes this blog to be sooo melodramatic. Maybe I'll start a new one perhaps?..................... Nah.. let it be lah, I don't want to keep promoting stuff or trying to think of things to write. Might as well keep it personal and rojak right :D.. Sigh.. just as I was about to become normal and me again, my groove got stolen, just when I got it back, I accidentally dropped it. God knows, when will I learned. I don't want to be too angry, but I do feel angry when I feel cheated or lied too, but people say that is life and its something that all of us have to dealt with. Well, at least I am taking the next step to slowly move on and be free from it. I think I intentionally wrapped myself with this chain of misery. I should let go, I have let it go a few times already, why does this one is so hard to let go.....

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Subcompact/Mini/Supermini/Small/ Micro

I drive a Viva to my lab. Its a small city runabout that is thrifty on petrol, easy to park, and surprisingly roomy for its small size. Small cars are nice, they are very nimble and easy on the wallet. A small car is actually what 80% of us need, since most of us drive alone anyways. These are my list of my favorite small cars that are safe, efficient and damn cool looking

Volkswagen Polo, its basically a shrunken Volkswagen Golf, which is a really great car to begin with. It drives well, its very fuel efficient with a variety of turbo and supercharged petrol and diesel engine.

Toyota IQ, its a car about the size of the Smart car but it can fit 3 adults and 1 children in it. It is able to achieved 5 stars in NCAP safety rating.

The BMW Mini, the small car that people actually want. Its small but automotive journalist and enthusiast all over the world craves for its go cart handling that beats car 2 times it size.

Mazda 2, a hot little car that comes both in sedan and hatchback form. It follows the footstep of Mazda Miata where they try to make everything lighter and more connected to the driver.
The Honda Jazz, yup with a Joker face. This is a kinda cool paint job. Its a clever car with clever features such cinema style fold up seats or fuel tank located under the front seats.

Ford Fiesta, a highly popular supermini in Europe known for its ride and handling. Soon to be sold in Malaysia.

Fiat 500, many people will remember the original Fiat 500 and will smile back at this car. Unlike the original car with rear engine and suicide doors, this car has a front engine, normal doors and can fit 4 adults comfortably.

An Italian job, an Alfa Romeo Mito, this sexy turbocharged car is bound to turn heads everywhere. I even saw one at UPM!!. Its crazy!!!..

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Photogenic Shadow

I just had a haircut, and as usual, came whoring with my Blackberry 8310. I got my usual hair cut and my usual barber and took a relatively usual after picture. Somehow though I looked a bit different here. My eye brows, they look like they are connected in a huge curve that starts at the corner of my own eye. My friend said, what did I do to my eye brow. I told him, this was the exact same brow he saw me last week. The shadow and light must have created that weird line that made my eye brow endless. The sharp shape of the eye brow comes from my mother. We have the same eye brows, thick and points quite sharply. So sharp, if we don't smile, it as seemed we are angry.

This is the face that scares people off. Its my "I am not thinking of anything face". The corner of my lips drop down, my eyes misshapen, my cheeks drop and that sharp eye brow completes the mean and unfriendly look naturally.

This is when I feel a bit crazy. I have to open my eyes, raised my eye brows a litter, smile just a little bit to pull my cheeks up. I feel uncomfortable and crazy, but it ends up being a better face. This is the reason I hate taking photos when someone tells me to pose. I feel weird, that is why I love all my candid pictures. I look normal, refreshed and friendly. I guess that is why it turns people away when I feel comfortable. Comfortable = ugly uncomfortable angry bored face. Crazy uncomfortable = friendly, presentable comfortable face. So weird eh? some people look great no matter how they they adjust their face, I guess that is why some people are photogenic..

I forgotten

I forgotten what it felt like to be in love
I forgotten how much I liked it
I forgotten how much it hurt when love is denied
I forgotten how much I denied love
I forgotten to keep my promise to myself
I forgotten to keep charge
I forgotten to just wait
I forgotten to smile
I forgotten how much the people around me care
I forgotten in order to love them, I must let them go
I forgotten that I have forgotten
I hope shall never forget...

*Life does not suck after all...