Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Of a feeling

Feel? I actually just feel nauseous now. I hate going on hills and shit. The winding road makes me really dizzy. I would not drive or take the bus up to Genting. I would take the damn cable car instead.

I think it jus got worser as I got older. Perhaps its that time to use that medical card of mine and take up some anti nauseous pills or something.

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Saturday, March 24, 2012

Goes on

Lots of things have been going through my head and it goes in lightning speed that I don't even have time to catch myself let alone write it down.

It such a waste though to not write it down. As mundane as we feel our lives is interesting compared to other people. Its just we are so used with the same thing that it got boring.

Well these things has been going to my head.

Oily skin







Maybe an entry dedicated to each one would be good ya?

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Sunday, March 18, 2012

OF a Post

Lately there has been some nosy people asking my family on the well being of myself in the family. Basically my relatives are asking my mother if everything is alright in my house based on the RAGE status updates I make or the blogs I write. In fact my mother has even confronted me on that matter.

So, I really hope you guys are reading this post, because this is for you.

First my mother said somethings are just not made to share into the public and that family secrets are meant to be secret. My older sister agrees on it, even though she has no fucking idea what I write. Second, I am surprised it took this long for people to actually tell, or that my mom actually had the time to ask me on this matter. I am pretty sure there is plenty of RAGE status updates through out the year. You people must have been keeping it for so long or my mother has been keeping it for so long, either way it took a long time for it to surface. Thirdly, do I regret what I write? NOPE, I don't, that was the moment and that was the feeling I had during that time. Could I just go and talk to them about it? I tried, but they just keep telling me I am wrong and that I exaggerated. So where do I go? What do I do? Is there someone worthwhile listening during that time? Someone who will just listen without judgment. I am pretty sure people read it when it does come on their wall, but most of the time will just shrug it off.

I try to be a good listener and try as I can not to judge people, since most experience for people is different.  I do fall of the tracks sometimes but I do make a mental note of it. So why judge me? We are still living in the same house, you still see me at reunions or during Hari Raya, heck you still see me running like a headless chicken every time we have our annual BBQ. I am pretty sure there are more shit going on to your family and lives that you feel its not appropriate to share. However I actually feel comfortable in spilling it out to you, online of course. Another thing I am pretty sure you seen me snarl or grumble a lot when stuff are happening or perhaps I have been doing a damn good job of hiding it.

Am I still angry? Yes, I do, I am angry when the same thing arises and I am angry when you remind of it again. Perhaps I need help, perhaps this is a way for me to clear my head. Why do you need to ask? I am still very very very angry. It makes working or the stress of working something so small compared to dealing with family. I try to actually incorporate what I learned at work at home, but sometimes it just reminds me of the crappy advice I got in the past from my family. It just replays over and over again in my head. Afterwards I think, I don't want to do this to my family, I don't think I want one, if another cycle will appear.

I can just hear my mother saying I am exaggerating myself. Ooh I can hear my sister too in my head or I can't to tease her about this, when she gets really frustrated with them. Well keep on sharing, because you still don't know the whole part of the story.

I feel pinched for many directions

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Of cars and trips

As the title states, I am not finish ranting about my car, well this would be the final paragraph. The last time I wanted to get this particular stock, the company said they stop making them, then they started to make them again. It happened again!!! I wanted to get the model, but it was stopped. Luckily they say it will be continued again. Fuh!!. I guess I am not getting one so soon. I remember getting one during my masters and it really cramped my budget and it was 1/3 of my salary. Fuck.... It still surprises me how people who make less than I do now and still have an alternative model car that I want... Fuck again..I guess I need to change my budget.. (duh...)

Anyhow, I am planning for a trip to Sabah by the end of my probation period. I want the trip to be nice, I want a nice hotel, not necessarily 5 stars, but something nice, with a nice breakfast buffet. Yes, a nice hotel with a breakfast buffet equals to a holiday for me.  I also want a sunburn along with the tan, if I am not dark then its not a holiday at the beach. Then I get all crazy with the whitening serum and shit..

Monday, March 12, 2012

Of a Car

Buying my own car is a dream that I have every since I was a little boy. All kinds of model comes to mind, from the cheap to "celaka, mahal sial". Since I have no idea how much they cost of how much I would make per month, it was all a fantasy.

Now I finally gotten a job and I about to start my career, reality just sunk in. I can't really buy the car I want.

In truth, I am capable of getting the model I want, even with my modest starter salary, however maturity and experience has told me, a car is more than just the monthly payment. There is petrol, insurance and service. Don't  forget about Tol and parking rates. Suddenly owning a car starts to be a bleak and sad thing to think about.

For many people, its just something for you to drive from A to B, but I am car lover, although mechanically challenged, but I do understand most of the technology in it. So I want those gadgets and equipment in my car.

According to financial planners (FUCK YOU), a car is a depreciating asset, so you must spend as little as you can for it. That means either paying it by cash, have a h/p of maximum 4 years or use only 13% of your salary to pay for it monthly

Da FUCK with that shit, that means its either you drive a black bumper Viva or a 15 year old car. In a market where cars are really expensive those fucked up advice are just not well thought for the local market nor are they thinking about salary of those just starting to work.

Not everybody is qualified or even picked in an oil&gas company or other types of profession whose pay starts at more than 3k..

Fuck them...

There are some that chooses to buy a house, I am just mildly annoyed with these people but its manageable but if they said they want a home on the ground and not an apartment when they live in the city and have the nerve to complain the high price, well you are just fucked up as the fucked up financial planner. I will run you both down in my 20 years old car...

Saturday, March 10, 2012

A hard time? The feeling is mutual

I give my mom a hard time, but only if she makes me really frustrated. There are a few issues that just freaks me out.

Her views on friends, work and some parts of finance can be thrown out of the window because the ideas are not suitable nor are they relevant to the current situation. Owh and they are fucking stupid too.

Another thing that I will always hold close to me or remember for the rest of my life or choose to never to forgive her (I don't care pick any, that you want to tell to my mother, you busy tattle tales!!) is how she said I blew small things out of proportion. Sorry mum, its been a year since that thing happened in December, but I am still remember what I said to you and I still remember how you belittle it.
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Sunday, March 4, 2012

Of stuff

Got my first pay recently and I am ecstatic about it. It pays more than the volunteer work and I have health and Epf. Its nice to be secured now. I can buy all the thing I could not before and plan for places to go in the future.

Its a bit late but its better than never. Here is to a new life ahead.
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